Duke Nukem Forever

Lewis Black has this good sketch about how the punchline to any joke can be “Michael Jackson”, but really, that’s all you need to say. Duke Nukem Forever is the Michael Jackson of the video game industry. What I don’t understand is how you can not make money for that long and still stay in business. It’s now over 10 years since the announcement, and most people have simply put it aside and waited for 3D Realms to eventually announce that they’re canceling it. Today’s teaser trailer brings it back into the spotlight again, but seems to be more of a desperate plea, saying “Hey guys, we still exist”, rather than a true indication that the game is on track for release.  Especially since said teaser trailer looks more like a step up from Normality rather than a state of the art FPS.  Which, I mean, I’m fine with that.  Far be it for me to encourage a further development in the arms race that is video game graphics, but if that’s what you have to say for yourself after going dark for 6 years or so.  Just, wow.

Eli Hodapp has an eye opening list of things that have occurred since Duke Nukem Forever was announced. I highly encourage you to read it, as it’s hilarious. Some Highlights:

• Google and eBay have come into existence
• Every single major Peer-to-Peer file sharing application, including Napster have been developed
• Blizzard releases Diablo 2, Starcraft, Warcraft 3, and World of Warcraft, and expansions for all of these
• Every movie, animation, and video game from The Matrix series
• The entire Grand Theft Auto, Halo, Metal Gear Solid, and Thief series’ have been made
• Steve Jobs rejoins Apple Computer and releases the iPod
• Every Massively Multiplayer Online Game other than Meridian 59
• The entire South Park Series
• Every Pokemon game outside of Japan
• Valve releases the best game ever made, twice (Half-Life, and Half-Life 2), as well as Team Fortress 2, Steam, and every Counter-Strike game
• Black Isle Studios is formed, creates over 7 of the best RPGs ever including Fall-out, Fall-out 2, the Baldur’s Gate and Icewind Dale series’, and is disbanded
• The Euro is created
• All three Star Wars prequels and all three Lord of the Rings movies are made
• The entire Harry Potter series of novels

World War 2, and the entire Manhattan Project, culminating in the invention of Nuclear technology happened in less time than the development of DNF. The entire moon-landing, from Kennedy’s challenge to the touch-down on the moon, occurred in less time than DNF has been in production, so far.